


Moving On

by MarshalCommand



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, M/M, Moving On, Multi, caboose just wants church back, caboose loves cuddles, letting go, they want their boyfriend back, tucker and caboose love church
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29759883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshalCommand/pseuds/MarshalCommand
Summary: [ Set at the beginning of Season 7 (let's just pretend Tucker was there)]"I want Church! It's not fair, I want him back." Caboose screamed through his tears, holding onto Epsilon like it was only thing keeping him tethered to the world, which maybe it was."I want Church back too Caboose." Tucker said gently, finally allowing to cry along with the youngest blue. "Oh God I want him back, but he's gone, he's gone and I never even got to tell him I love him one last time."
Relationships: Lavernius Tucker/Agent Washington, Leonard L. Church/Lavernius Tucker, Michael J. Caboose/Lavernius Tucker, Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church, Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church/Lavernius Tucker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. I Want Him Back

Tucker sighed softly as he looked around for Caboose. He wasn't used to the layout of the new base yet and it had a lot more spots where Caboose could easily hide. He froze when he heard Caboose's voice and quietly peeked around the corner to see who Caboose was talking to.

"And then there was that time Tucker and Church showed me this game, it kinda hurt for a bit but then it was really fun." Caboose said, and Tucker realized he was talking to Epsilon, or whatever thing Epsilon was being held inside of. Tucker also noticed the parts lying around the room and he knew Caboose had been trying to build a new body for Church. Tucker sucked in a breath sharply at the pang in his chest at the thought of Church. Caboose turned to look at him and smiled. "Tucker! I did not hear you!" 

"Hey Caboose, what're you doing?" Tucker asked, fighting back the pain in his heart as he tried to make his voice sound as sweet as possible. It was hard trying to sound okay when really he was breaking inside. 

"I have been telling Epsilon stories so when I get a body built he will be able to remember all of us and everything will be like normal again!" Caboose said happily and Tucker's heart broke even more. 

"Caboose, come here." Tucker said, holding his arms out for a hug. Caboose smiled brightly and happily hugged Tucker back tightly. Tucker rested his head on Caboose's shoulder and fought back tears as memories hit him in waves. 

**

Tucker laughed and smiled as he cuddled closer to Church. 

"What's so funny?" Church huffed, smiling as well.

"I just never thought you'd have such a soft spot for the rookie." Tucker mused, gesturing to the sleeping Caboose who had his head lying on Church's chest.

"Yeah well you have a soft spot for him too." Church replied, kissing Tucker softly. 

"Or a hard spot, bow chicka bow wow." Tucker joked, making Church roll his eyes even though he was smiling in amusement. Church pulled Tucker closer and both of them slowly joined their Caboose in sleeping happily. 

**

"Tucker?" Caboose asked softly once he heard the choked sob Tucker fought so hard to keep in, "Are you okay?" Caboose asked gently. Tucker tightened his grip on Caboose and stayed silent. He needed to fight back his tears, he needed to stay strong for Caboose. 

"Yeah, I'm okay Caboosey." Tucker croaked out once he'd managed to fight back his tears. He pulled back enough to give Caboose a fake smile. 

"I miss him too." Caboose said softly, not buying the smile that fell from Tucker's lips at his words. "But I can bring him back, Epsilon has the memories to do it, I just need to hook him up to something and we'll have Church back." Caboose said, sounding so sure of himself and Tucker felt tears filling his eyes again. 

"Caboose, hun, you know that it won't be Church..our...our Church isn't here anymore..." Tucker said softly, trying to be as gentle as he could. 

"No! I can bring back Church, this will work." 

"Hun, I know you want him back, lord knows I do too, but that won't be Church." Tucker said. Caboose frowned and pulled himself out of Tucker's grasp, picking up the Epsilon unit and running away. "Caboose! No! Come back!" Tucker shouted, running after him. He quickly lost sight of Caboose and scrambled to try and find him again. Tucker ended up running outside, even checking over at the red base for him. 

"Hey Tucker." Donut called, waving. 

"Donut, where's Caboose? Have you seen him?" Tucker asked quickly. 

"Yeah, he ran off that way." Donut said, pointing. Tucker just nodded in acknowledgement and ran off in the direction Donut indicated. He kept running until he found Caboose, collapsed to the ground on his knees, clutching the Epsilon unit close as he cried. 

Tucker slowly down and slowly walked up behind Caboose who was sobbing loudly. 

"I want Church." Caboose sobbed, making it clear he knew Tucker was there. Tucker slowly knelt next to Caboose and pulled him close, Caboose quickly leaning into Tucker as he cried. 

"I know you do Caboose." Tucker soothed, gently rubbing Caboose's back. 

"I want Church! It's not fair, I want him back." Caboose screamed through his tears, holding onto Epsilon like it was only thing keeping him tethered to the world, which maybe it was. 

"I want Church back too Caboose." Tucker said gently, finally allowing to cry along with the youngest blue. "Oh God I want him back, but he's gone, he's gone and I never even got to tell him I love him one last time." Caboose sobbed and buried his face against Tucker's chest as he sobbed. Tucker wrapped his arm around Caboose and held him close, tears sliding down his face as he worked to comfort the other blue. 

"I love Church, I want him back." Caboose mumbled. Tucker ran his finger's through Caboose's hair slowly, gently. "I just wanted him back." 

"I know you did Caboose, but Church isn't here anymore and having something pretend to be him will only hurt more." 

"I just want Church." 

"I want Church too Caboose, I want him too."

"Tucker?" Caboose asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yes Caboose?"

"You won't leave me too, will you?" Caboose asked, sounding broken. Tucker's heart clenched in pain as he pulled Caboose closer.

"I promise, I'll never leave you." Tucker replied instantly. Caboose seemed relieved and Tucker wiped his tears away gently. "Now, let's go back to base. You know Church wouldn't want us to be crying over him like this." Tucker said as he helped Caboose stand. Both were still hurting as they mourned Church, but maybe now they could move on as Tucker took Caboose's hand in his, intertwining their fingers as they slowly began to walk back to base.


	2. Not The Same

Caboose had gotten his way in the end, plugging Epsilon in and having him "bring back" Church. Caboose was thrilled while Tucker was less ecstatic about the choice. Perhaps it was because part of him had accepted that Church was dead and this only opened old wounds, or perhaps it was because he so badly hoped that this was his Church, so wished it could be, only to know deep down that it was merely a memory, that his Church was gone and no amount of hoping or wishing or damaged A.Is could fix that. 

Perhaps Tucker would have preferred to keep Church a memory, something sacred to him and Caboose that they could share and mourn and love and slowly learn to move on from together. But now, now he was faced with seeing Church's face, hearing his voice, and realizing every time it was only a shadow, a whisper, of what had once been. 

When it was the three of them together, everything was like normal. They joked, they laughed, they smiled, and they fawned over Caboose. But when it was just Tucker and not Church together, the act fell away and Tucker could see the hollowness where in his Church had been life, had been love. 

Tucker pretended around Caboose. He pretended that he believed Epsilon was their Church because Caboose believed it. Who was he to rip this small hope away from Caboose when he had been the one to hold and comfort him every night since Church had died. Caboose hadn't slept after that. He'd go to Tucker every night, and Tucker would always let him crawl into bed with him and hold him close until he'd feel the young blue fall asleep. Tucker was plagued with his own dreams, but he didn't have anyone to cry to. He had to be strong for Caboose. 

Caboose stopped coming to him once Epsilon began pretending to be Church. Maybe Tucker was jealous it had stolen Caboose away, or maybe he was glad Caboose was no longer plagued by the guilt and sadness that still plagued Tucker. Whenever he saw the A.I all he could think was how he could have kept Church from going, or how there should have been something he could have done to save him. 

Tucker knew Caboose needed Church to be strong, needed him to lean on because he looked up to him. Tucker stopped being able to sleep after Caboose stopped coming over at night. He'd toss and turn in bed, plagued by memories and things he should have done or things he should have said. Every 'I hate you' he'd spat in rage at Church rang in ears as regret poured over him. Every bad name making him feel sick to his stomach as he blinked back tears that always threatened to fall. He knew if he let the tears fall he would never be able to stop. 

One night, he found himself outside a bedroom door. What he was doing here he didn't know. He'd already knocked on the metal door before realizing where his feet had carried him. When the call to enter sounded, Tucker hesitated only a moment before pushing into the room. He took in the familiar blue armor and the figure looking at him from the bed. Before they could even ask what he was doing there, Tucker began to cry, finally letting the tears fall as he broke down, spiraling into a free fall. He felt arms catch him and he hadn't even realized he'd started to fall to his knees. He clung to the owner of the arms, sobbing against his chest. The grip on him tightened as he was pulled onto the bed and gently comforted as he cried and cried. 

Tucker didn't know how long he'd sat there crying for before he began to slowly fall off to sleep. He felt himself being laid down and pulled closer to the warm body beside him and smiled slowly. Maybe he could stop pretending and just let himself move on, Caboose would see on his own that Church was gone and Tucker would always be there for him, but maybe now Tucker needed to move on, he knew Church was gone, had accepted it, and with time he could grow past him. He would never stop loving Church, never, but that didn't mean there wasn't room in his heart for a new kind of love. 

"Thank you Wash." Tucker mumbled as he fell asleep for the first time in days. 

"You're welcome Tucker." Washington replied gently, holding Tucker close as he fell asleep as well. It was the first time since Church died that Tucker slept without nightmares and sadness, the first time he'd slept with joy at the growing possibility of a new future.


End file.
